July 29, 2012 REVIEW: “Ted” I am not going to sugar coat this film, “Ted” is a crude and vulgar comedy about love and loyal friendship. I have to admit, “Ted” was not high on my list of movies to see this week, however since I had little choice of what was playing, I chose this one.
The movie begins as we listen to a narrator describing what happened a Christmas long ago. We meet John Bennett, an unhappy, 8 yr. old boy, who doesn’t have any friends, not one. All John wants is to have one true and loyal friend for life. One Christmas morning John finds an enormous stuffed teddy bear under the tree, and is elated. That night, while in bed, John prays to have his stuffed bear be his best and
true friend for life. The bear (Seth MacFarlan’s voice) magically comes to life, John decides to name him “Ted”.
Overnight Ted becomes a celebrity, even gets an appearance on the Johnny Carson Show. I must warn you, this is a very trashy, potty mouth, talking teddy bear. Every word out of his mouth is foul. Many years pass, and John (Mark Wahlberg) is now 35 yrs old. He works at a car rental agency, which he leaves quite often, to get stoned with “Ted”. John also has a very patient girl friend, Lori Collins (Milla Kunis) who has been
waiting 4 yrs for John to pop the question. Like Peter Pan, John refuses to grow up, since he and Ted are living the life. Lori tells John if they are to stay together, he has to grow up and be a man. When John sees Lori is about to leave him, he understands he can’t mature if Ted remains in his home. He
tells Ted they must break up, and no longer live in the same house. He assures Ted their friendship will last forever. Ted does move out, with the help of John, he gets an apartment and a job in a super market. It doesn’t take long for John to miss his potty mouth friend.
How does this unusual situation get resolved? Do John and Lori finally marry or is John unable to live without Ted in his life.
Do not be fooled by the cute cuddly teddy bear, he’s not what he appears to be, he is bad. This is NOT a movie for kids, no matter how much they protest. Don’t let the cute cuddly teddy bear fool you, he is not what he appears to be, what he has is a vulgar mouth.
1 1/2 popcorn bags Big M
Big M is an 86 yr old movie reviewer.